Get paid to do what I really love

Never Done: Cirque du Soleil

I have never seen Cirque du Soleil. A Groupon came through to see their children's show, Wintuk. Wintuk did not look like it was going to be good, but I have never seen Cirque du Soleil. (I have seen some other amazing French circus troupe, in France, but I don't remember their name.) I decided to go, just for the Never Done experience, and I regretted it (well, I didn't regret it -- I realized how little I would enjoy it) as soon as I arrived. The lobby was corporate. The hallway leading to the lobby was reminiscent of the corridors between airport gates. The hallway leading from the first lobby to the second lobby was corporate steel blue/gray with plastic Wintuk-logo cups filled with "Slushies for the show!" "Popcorn for the show!" "Slushies for the show!" "Popcorn for the show!" -- as the (probably) minimum-wage vendors had to shout out to the mostly foreign tourists waiting to go into the theater. I had brought Franzen's Freedom, so I hunkered down and read until they let us in. (This was the best part of the evening.)

The scene didn't get any more inspired once inside the theater (steel blue/gray corporate feel with low ceiling covered with white lights) nor, truly, once the show began. Ostensibly, a little blue is searching for snow. In reality, each scene demonstrates/highlights a solo performance of a different circus art (juggling, jump roping, stunt bicycling, tight rope walking, rollerblading) and every now and then the kid says something about wishing there were snow. But he's not on a journey, there are no defined characters, and there's not even really any spectacle. I left after a half hour.

The only thing that kept me engaged while I was there, and on the way home, was thinking about my own life, my own past. When I was younger, as I have written before, what I best liked to do with my time was jump rope, walk on stilts, ride a unicycle, hoola hoop, juggle, balance and log walk around on big thick cardboard tube, do gymnastics, and other similar physical endeavors. Had anyone been paying attention, it would have been clear that I was destined to be a circus artist. It feels embarrassing to admit this, but I actually mean that. I've never quite found my work niche -- have had a ton of different jobs -- but have rarely felt so purely interested in anything as I've felt when engaging in focused, repetitive physical feats. There's nothing like the focused exhilaration of juggling three balls, and someone passing you a fourth, and you being able to integrate it into your pattern, and then adding balls til there are six, which you then juggle and pass back and forth with someone else.

Here are the paid jobs I had while I was still in high school:
Babysitter
Lawnmower and landscaper
Painting and odd jobs
Vender at a fruit and vegetable stand
Piano teacher
Sports stringer for regional newspaper
Ice cream scooper and grill cook at Friendly's restaurant
Ice cream scooper at candy store
Clerk at a 24-hour convenience store
Live-in nanny

Here are the jobs I had between high school and college (I took time off):
Personal chef
Home care attendant for someone with Alzheimers
Clerk at a computer store
Clerk at a book store

Here are the jobs I had while in college (including the summers):
Live art model
Busker (street singer)
Sous chef
Room cleaner at hotel
Cook and occasional performer at a dinner theater
Pie baker
Waitress
Musician

Here are the jobs I've had since leaving college: Family planning counselor
Co-director of rape crisis center
Movie projectionist (and everything else needed to be done -- sell tickets, make popcorn, clean up, etc)
Waitress, cook, and eventual co-owner of a café
French translator and interpreter
Barista
Carpenter's laborer
Carpenter's apprentice
Carpenter
Singer and musician in Zimbabwean marimba band
Diversity trainer
Residential remodeler and contractor
Program coordinator for immigrant rights and labor organization
Development director for same immigrant rights and labor organization
Creative organizer with economic justice organization
Playwright
Performer
Freelance creative organizer
Creative organizing trainer
Grant administrator with social justice foundation
After school theater program teacher
Music reviewer (newspaper)
Fundraiser and event planner for Jewish social justice organization
University adjunct professor
Yiddish theater teacher
Documentary filmmaker
Transcriber
Writer
Editor

I think that's everything. It's possible that I left some stuff out. I have done a ton of stuff for work, which is a sign to me that I have never loved any one thing long enough to really identify with it. Of course, I left off all my non-paid work, which includes most of the radical social justice, anti-racist, and anti-fascist work I've done over the years (and which I have really identified with.) But did you notice what isn't on the list? All that stuff I loved the most: jump roping, stilt walking, unicycle riding, hoola hooping, juggling, balancing, and gymnastics. Maybe I should make a show, or a little spectacle, or join someone else's, and see what it's like to get paid to do what I really love.