You don't need references to get drunk and knocked up

Never Done: Asked for adoption references

I need four people to tell the bureaucrats of NYC that I would be a good parent. The reference form asks them to state that I have the following characteristics:

Moral character

Mature judgement

Ability to manage financial resources

Capacity to develop meaningful relationships with children

I feel pretty good about my prospects. I asked four people/couples yesterday, and three already said yes. I made a list (I swear I am not sucking up by saying this -- it is truly true) of the parents I most admire and have most learned from, and it was a long list, so I started winnowing it down with criteria like, do they have a four-week old infant? Yes? Then I won't ask them right now. Also, I chose one from New York, one from New England, one from Portland, and one from Chicago, which although it's not on my list of places I think about living, it is the United Airlines hub that gets me from one place to the other. Also, I asked one person who has known me my whole life, one person who has known me since I was a teenager, a couple who've known me for 20 years, and another who has known me for 15. Some are Jewish, some are not; some are Chicano/a, some are not; some are gay, some are not. I am so all about diversity, and I hope the state of New York appreciates that about me.

I am not particularly nervous to ask people to recommend me (I feel pretty confident about my capacity to develop meaningful relationships with children) but I do still find it strange that, as many people have pointed out, you don't need references to get drunk and knocked up. And you don't have to take classes if you're birthing your own babies. Not that I'm complaining. I am actually learning a ton in the classes, and I think the references will probably help my friends and family become even more invested in my choice. Hey wait, I bet the bureaucrats of NYC thought of that!

Sarcasm aside, I really appreciate that my friends and family are writing these recommendations for me, and I feel the process inching along, getting more real with every step.