I made meringues (fail)

Never Done: I made meringues but they didn't come out right

I have a little food sculpture project in mind for my upcoming Oscars party. And my food sculpture relies on being able to make sculpted meringue. Since I've never made any meringue before, I decided to practice, so at the end of a very long day, and a little too late to start with something that takes three hours to bake, I cracked open four eggs and got started. On the one hand, it is super easy to make meringue. You separate the yolks and the whites. (Put aside the yolks to use in something else.) You beat the whites til they are foamy. You add in sugar, slowly, while beating. Beat til it's white, stiff, and satiny. Form into shapes on a buttered and floured cookie pan, and bake low (200F) for 3 hours. Easy peasy, right?

Except ... do you use cream of tartar to help the whites stay stiff? What kind of sugar do you use? Will Confectioner's work? Is Superfine better than regular granulated? Is it going to rain? Because the humidity might could keep the meringue from forming right. What if you want it to be sort of gooey inside? What if you want to make a really big something out of meringue? How long do you bake it in that case? Is it better to beat the whites for as long as possible or as little as possible? I mean, I know I'm not arbitrating the Wisconsin Union bill here, but still, meringue is complicated.

I couldn't get mine stiff. I think I used the wrong sugar. (I used Confectioner's, based on reading several blogs on the topic. But as soon as it failed, I read more blogs, and that's when I realized I should never have used Confectioner's -- it was all about Superfine, which I will try next.) So mine came out thick but definitely not stiff and sculptable. Also, it was sort of rainy out, and Melissa says that her mother says that you just can't meringue if it's humid. I sort of want to tell you what I am sculpting, and I also don't, because I intend the final project to be a spectacular never done before food sculpture that I can write about on Monday.

So let's leave it at this: I made meringues for the first time, and they came out shiny and white and brittle and shapeless, and I am going to try again with Superfine sugar, and hopefully I'll sculpt a funny and disturbing Oscar-themed dessert, and take a great photo of it, and post it here on Monday.