Stay at home Sunday

I came up against one the hardest things I tend to come up against. I got three excellent social invitations throughout the day -- some were made well in advance, and some came up as the day went on, and all of them were with people I would have loved to spend time with -- and I really needed to stay home. I also got a phone call from a friend I love, but it came when I was in the middle of writing something for work, and so I had to let it go to voicemail.

Now, when I say I "needed to stay at home," it's with an emphasis on the word I, and not the word need. Which is also to say that I realized I needed some time to myself. Sure, I had to do some more apartment unpacking, and sure I wanted to cook for the week (granola, greens gratin, potatoes from the garden) and sure I had to do some work for the JCC, but mostly I was able to notice that I needed some time to myself -- resting, reading, taking a long hot bath. Just time without moving, without working, and most importantly -- without being responsive to other people, even people I love being responsive to.

I'm hoping it's a turning point that I'm able to notice I need this. I'm hoping that I start to notice that I need regenerative time to myself every week, or every day, and that I develop some kind of healthy meditation habit or something. But most of all, I'm grateful that I'm slowing down enough every day to notice that the old yapping voices are quieting, and that it's good to be alone with myself every now and then.