I sat on my South Slope stoop

Never Done: I sat on my South Slope stoop

It was beautiful out, and I had some down time in the afternoon, and rather than fill it up with something active or productive or directed, I decided to just sit on the stoop and see what would happen. The stoop was actually a pretty big selling point in taking the apartment, because every time I came by to see it before taking it, the tenant and/or the landlord were hanging out on it, and I liked the vibe.

So I took a book out with me, and sat down on the stoop, and within maybe 30 seconds my neighbor Jimmy came by. We gabbed for a while, and then a neighbor I didn't know came by with her new pit bull mutt, and we gabbed for a while, and then one of the sisters from the house I can't afford came by and I pretended to read so that we wouldn't gab for a while, and then some twenty-something hipsters with Jersey plates pulled into a recently-vacated parking space, and they were very into gabbing with each other, and then I got to look at how pretty the gas lights are, and think about 18th century England (which isn't something I spend a lot of time thinking about) and then my landlord Melissa came out and we gabbed for a long while, and then ... well, maybe you get the picture by now. Hanging out on the stoop is all about slowing down and being open to the world that comes by, rather than speeding up and trying to control our interactions with the world.

A couple hours after my stoop sit, I got a text message from a friend who moved to NYC the day before yesterday, who wrote that he wants to open a bar called Lazy, because he's already noticed that New Yorkers have lost the skill of having quality down time. I scanned over my weekend. Saturday: slept in, went to the farmer's market and botanic garden, ran into a friend and her toddler, talked with my friend and played with the toddler, went for a run, hung out all evening playing Scrabble. Sunday: read the paper, went to open houses, stopped in for a slice at Four and Twenty pie shop, sat on the stoop, went to spin class, made Indian pudding, had a 2-hour phone call while stretching. How much of that qualifies as down time? Just the parts at home? Just the parts when I was sitting down? Does it count as down time if a friend was over? What if it was a spontaneous friend hang-out? How do I tell if it's quality down time? If I'm enjoying myself? If I end up feeling rejuvenated?

As much as I love to go on adventures, I also need a significant amount of rejuvenating down time. I actually get more of it than people think I do, because I work alone, and I can take little naps in the afternoon when I need them, or go for walks, or just sit and think. Also, this blogging practice has been good for me, because I need time to think before I write. But none of that is quite the same as just sitting on a stoop and waiting for the world to come, which seems like it might be connected in some ways to Humility, Diligence, and Equanimity: Rise above events that are inconsequential, which is this week's mide (middah.) And because I feel a little defensive writing about hanging out on a stoop as if it's a legitimate Never Done activity, consider this: Otis Redding did it.