Something huge that I can't say yet that has to do with adoption

Never Done: Something huge that I can't say yet that has to do with adoption

Josh and I went to an event, co-sponsored by Wendy's Wonderful Kids and You Gotta Believe -- two organizations that do fantastic work despite their names. (Ouch -- did I really just say that?) It was an open house for teens in foster care and prospective parents to meet and talk. We had been told that R would be there, and R had been told that we would be there. When we arrived, there were about 20 young people, 10 social workers, and one other prospective parent. Over the time we stayed, 10 more youth but only one other parent showed up. How must this feel to them? Truly how must this feel? And it turned out that one of the other parents, like us, were there to see a particular child, leaving one prospective parent to potentially meet his match from one of 30 teens.

R wasn't there when we got there, so I sat down and started talking with some young people. It was totally awkward and yet I reached through a couple times and found some connections, and even some laughter. And then R showed up, and after a while I excused myself and went to talk with her. She hugged me, and she shook Josh's hand, and we ended up sitting together and talking for about 2 hours. Really talking. Learning about her talking. And -- after listening to her for a long time -- I asked her if she would like my perspective on what is essentially one of her deepest coping devices, and she became very focused and said yes. And then she listened to what I had to say, and then a flood gate opened, and she just talked and talked and talked and talked about what her life is really like. Those minutes filled me with great hope for her -- and maybe our -- future.

And then her social worker told her it was time to leave. But before she took off, D from You Gotta Believe wanted to take our photo together, so R put her arm around me, and Josh came in on the other side of me, and we posed together for our first photo. Then R gave me a hug and a kiss, and almost shook Josh's hand but hugged him, and then she was driven off to the residential treatment center (formerly called an orphanage) where she lives.

And then an even more amazing thing happened. Someone from the agency gave us some very good news that I am not yet free to share, because it involves a little rule bending. What I can say is that the people we are working with are consistently excellent at balancing out their ethical responsibilities to the others they serve. Primarily, they tend to the young people in foster care. But at the same time, they are thoughtful and responsible to the potential parents. But I take great comfort in knowing that if the needs of one of the young people and my needs would ever come into conflict, that the agency would act in the best interest of the child. It's a delicate balance, and they hold it with great clarity. And, with great clarity of purpose comes the ability to evaluate individual situations and move things along ... perhaps outside the rigid restrictions of bureaucracy.

Vague, yes. But if you're thinking you might want to be happy for me, you're right. And hopeful. And giddy. (Oh wait, maybe those are my own emotions I am describing.) And please be understanding if I have to pull back on some social events for a while. Could be. Who knows?