So right after my Google calendar stopped working and then my online booking system duplicated a bunch of reservations and then when the head of technology at the JCC was at my desk helping me with these things, right in front of him, my hard drive crashed—right after all that, I left the office and got a replacement black insulated shirt, because I keep losing my perfect black insulated shirt.
There's a perfect black insulated shirt. It has good lines. It is very thin. It is very warm. It looks good enough with a skirt or jeans. Usually I can't find this shirt. I go to sporting goods places and they hug me in places I'd rather not be hugged. And then I find it and love it, and then bizarrely, once I have it and after I rely on it with my very core, I lose it. I lost it three years ago. I found another I actually liked better. I lost it last year. I have been without for the entire Fall. I've tried some on. They didn't flatter.
I was slightly chilly all day today, and so when a dybbuk got into my computer, I got up and left the office and walked over to EMS and found a black insulated shirt. It's not better than the last one, and it's not better than the one before. In fact, it's worse than both of them. But it fits, and it's warm and it was on sale, and then I discovered that I get 20% for working at the JCC, so I chose it.
If I would have found a perfect one, I think I would have felt joy. As it was, I felt that I was doing something for myself, and that there was the possibility that I could have felt joy, which is probably a good thing to aim for in any of these efforts.
Because it is imperfect, you will never lose it. Till next week maybe.
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