The first time Andrew and Casey got married, five years ago in a gorgeous Colorado mountains ceremony, I wept and wept (with joy.) When they got legally married in a civil ceremony in the New York city clerk building, I laughed and laughed. For one thing, because they now have a rambunctious 2 1/2 year-old son, Phinneas, who wanted to juggle the rings he was supposed to bear. For another thing, because in the heat and humidity of New York, trying to "slip" the rings over each others' swollen knuckles elevated the exchange of rings to high physical comedy.
Just before the ceremony, Andrew and Casey realized they wanted something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue -- and ended up borrowing some ChapStik from their friend Alex and a lozenge from me. Now this alone was funny, but 15 minutes later, when they couldn't get the rings on, and Casey remembered that he had some ChapStik, he executed a perfect joke recall that completely struck my funny bone, and sent me into a new round of laughter.
Eventually it came off without a hitch (pun intended*) and the wedding party, which also included Casey's sister Kelly -- the official marital witness, and her two daughters Parker and Barrett -- flower girls without an aisle -- all tumbled out of the wedding chapel chambers, picking up desiccated flower petals and pennies (stuff Phin had been playing with) as we went.
This all didn't happen in a vacuum though. There were city employees involved at every step of the way, and it really stood out how they were delighted with and supportive of these weddings. I don't know what I expected, but I think I expected people to be more jaded -- to feel overburdened by all the extra work. But that is not the sense I got at all. From the woman who checked our IDs to the City Clerk, Teresa, who married Andrew and Casey, people were warm and congratulatory and contributed to a general climate of enthusiasm. A climate that included commercialism for sure -- like the "I got married in NYC" T-shirts, magnets, mugs, and onesies (which are a little creepy, don't you think?) -- but why should gay marriage be any less commercial than straight marriage?
I for one was thrilled to be there to reconfirm my support for this particular marriage, but also to take part in the New York moment, which we can hopefully leverage to become a national moment. In the meantime, mazl tov to Andrew and Casey, to all the newly married couples, and to everyone who worked so hard to pass marriage equality legislation in New York!!!
AND NOW, AN INCIDENTAL WEDDING ALBUM
New York says "I do"
Constant motion machine
Random commercial swag
*Pun courtesy of Josh
*Pun courtesy of Josh