They look great from the outside looking in, but so far they are terribly confusing from the inside looking out. I can sort of read with them. I can sort of see far with them. I can barely use the computer with them. The point, of course, is for me to seamlessly do all three. I was ready for how there would be little strata of vision, like sedimentary rock, and how I'd have to gently move my head up and down to find the right spot for the job. What I wasn't prepared for is how there would ALSO be a big bite out of each side, like two big bites, and how I can't ever move my head or eyes from side to side, and how even if I find the one teeny tiny place where I can see a three inch square of the screen, I still can't actually see it clearly.
Sometimes getting older sucks.
And it's hard to relate to the younger me who, when I had 20-20 vision, wanted glasses because I felt like I was missing out on a fashion opportunity. Which, let's face it, I was. But you know what else I was missing out on? Not being able to see. Pushing my glasses up off my nose. (I know, I have to go back to the store to get them adjusted.) Young men who don't yet need progressive lenses telling me how easy it is to adjust to them. Typos. Lots of typos. Not visual typos, because I don't look at the keyboard when I type, but something cognitive that comes from having a confused and wiggly visual experience. I keep inverting letters, and typing entirely wrong words. Like when I just went back to re-read this paragraph, I found I had written "mission out on" instead of "missing out on."
Supposedly my eyes will adjust to this. Supposedly, I should be able to sit in a meeting and read something, and then look up and see who I am talking to, without taking glasses my glasses off. Supposedly, I should also be able to work at the computer, and then check a hand-written note, and then look across the room at, I don't know, the Old Spice man riding a horse, and all of it will be clear. And supposedly, if I practice every day, starting first thing in the morning when my eyes are supposedly fresh, my eyes will supposedly get used to being trapped in a fun house mirror.
I think this one's gonna take the mides (middot) of patience and equanimity. Also maybe it would be good if we could place an ethical value on vanity, because I'm sure to be more motivated to stumble through my day in a confused blur if enough people tell me how great I look.
