Saturday, February 19, 2011

I can see nearly now

Never Done: Got rad new wear-all-the-time glasses

They look great from the outside looking in, but so far they are terribly confusing from the inside looking out. I can sort of read with them. I can sort of see far with them. I can barely use the computer with them. The point, of course, is for me to seamlessly do all three. I was ready for how there would be little strata of vision, like sedimentary rock, and how I'd have to gently move my head up and down to find the right spot for the job. What I wasn't prepared for is how there would ALSO be a big bite out of each side, like two big bites, and how I can't ever move my head or eyes from side to side, and how even if I find the one teeny tiny place where I can see a three inch square of the screen, I still can't actually see it clearly.

Sometimes getting older sucks.

And it's hard to relate to the younger me who, when I had 20-20 vision, wanted glasses because I felt like I was missing out on a fashion opportunity. Which, let's face it, I was. But you know what else I was missing out on? Not being able to see. Pushing my glasses up off my nose. (I know, I have to go back to the store to get them adjusted.) Young men who don't yet need progressive lenses telling me how easy it is to adjust to them. Typos. Lots of typos. Not visual typos, because I don't look at the keyboard when I type, but something cognitive that comes from having a confused and wiggly visual experience. I keep inverting letters, and typing entirely wrong words. Like when I just went back to re-read this paragraph, I found I had written "mission out on" instead of "missing out on."

Supposedly my eyes will adjust to this. Supposedly, I should be able to sit in a meeting and read something, and then look up and see who I am talking to, without taking glasses my glasses off. Supposedly, I should also be able to work at the computer, and then check a hand-written note, and then look across the room at, I don't know, the Old Spice man riding a horse, and all of it will be clear. And supposedly, if I practice every day, starting first thing in the morning when my eyes are supposedly fresh, my eyes will supposedly get used to being trapped in a fun house mirror.

I think this one's gonna take the mides (middot) of patience and equanimity. Also maybe it would be good if we could place an ethical value on vanity, because I'm sure to be more motivated to stumble through my day in a confused blur if enough people tell me how great I look.

6 comments:

  1. Jenny,
    I can completely identify with this post. I think having to get bifocals has been the most difficult part of aging for me thus far. I opted to get straight bifocals instead of progressives and it took me over 3 weeks to adjust to them. It was as if each normally familiar situation was completely new because I had to consciously adjust the angle of my face. Luckily for me I have worn glasses since the 2nd grade so was used to the facial appendage. You look marvelous in your new specs!!!

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  2. We are intrepid and evolutionary (and you most of all). I've had mine so long, I forget they're progressives 'til someone or something reminds me (thanks for that) and I suddenly become conscious of them and start testing 'em and shit.

    This too shall pass, your very un-diminishing brain will tell your eyes to adjust (or vice-versa), clarity will result, and you'll have the best of both worlds ('cuz they do look swell).

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  3. Thanks Aura -- and what a great description of the adjustment. Stepping off a curb is a Great New Adventure! Jeff, thank you for the confidence in my brain ... I'll trust your experience on this one. So far I think my brain is telling the rest of me that I am on a boat in choppy water, because I am distinctly sea sick...

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  4. I tried this once for a week. Then I went back to far away glasses only. I can read just fine with no glasses (still at 67), and I can see my computer if it's at the right distance from me (and hey, it's moveable!), so I just need far away glasses. ta da! problem solved. Good luck, whichever way you go.

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  5. Those specks are hot! Good luck. :)

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  6. Sandra -- I think I'm the opposite of you. I can see far extremely well, but I can't read at all, and I can't see the computer without specs. I've been using my reading glasses for the computer, but that's not so great. And then, when I read or use the computer with glasses on, and then I want to look up across the room at someone I'm working with, I constantly have to take the glasses off, or else strain over them, and that's not working so well... hence trying to master these progressives, which at least Kronda thinks are hot.

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